By Nafissa Assed.
T.S. Eliot once wrote: “There are some things about which we can say nothing, but before which we dare not . . .[restrict]keep silent.”
I heard of Kashmiri girls who were gang raped by the Indian army, Bosnian girls gang raped by Serbs, girls violated in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq, Somalia, America but I had never heard of girls in Libya who were assaulted, violated and raped by their own Libyan brothers. The knowledge makes me feel that It does not really take much for men to turn into beasts.
Rape is a sensitive topic worldwide and it also carries a stigma, but in a conservative — though I see it in this case as “hypocritical” conservative — country like Libya, it can be deadly and even more of a taboo. In Libya, when rape occurs, it is considered a stain on the honor of the whole family, tribe or town and thus victims can very likely be deserted not only by their families but by the whole community. In some cases, the victim may even be killed by her own brother, father or family member — or just left in the desert to die on her own. Heaven will be a comfort after what they have been through but life is not living.
A number of demonstrations have taken place urging the Libyan government to support and help those Libyan women who were brutally raped. The government should provide intensive treatment and care as well as providing them with financial, legal and counseling support. I mentioned earlier in one of my articles a moving speech by Ms Suad Yacoub, a lawyer who holds a master’s degree in international law and who is a member of the Women’s Modern Association. She presented the idea that the Libyan girls who were assaulted and raped by Qaddafi’s brigades and mercenaries should be taken care of.
I personally demand that people who work for NGOs and international aid organizations worldwide support these victims; there is almost no help offered to any of these women. In fact, things are getting worse. Ms. Yacoub told me there were an estimated 130,000 girls who fled western Libya to Tunisia. In addition, the Libyan NGOs which have sprung up to deal with the womens’ needs say they believe there are many rape survivors who are too ashamed to come forward for help.
It is not their fault that they are too frightened and ashamed to talk about what happened; it is the fault of Libyan society which will always label them as a shame and embarrassment to the country instead of dealing with them as helpless victims who need every possible aid in order to overcome their terrible trauma. Many of these girls ran away to other countries and worked as waitresses after they discovered they were pregnant or had a sexually transmitted disease as a result of rape.
It is high time Libyan society became aware that this issue needs immediate attention and that these girls who experienced such an inhuman and unforgettable incident have been brutalized beyond their horrific experience with vicious attacks on their rights as human beings and as Muslim women.
According to a survey conducted by Dr Seham Shergewa, a psychological activist who deals with the victims of Gaddafi’s rapes, the responses to the trauma of the war in Libya were an extreme tragedy:
“Ten thousand people suffering post-traumatic stress; 4,000 children with psychological problems, and the most devastating result was 559 women who said they had been raped by Gaddafi’s forces, and more than 36 women committed suicide because of the shame they felt.”
Along with these deplorable numbers, some awful stories have come from the victims. In March, a woman in Misrata saw her husband and brother-in-law tied up by Qaddafi’s forces who then raped her in front of them. Then they killed her husband in cold blood. During the survey, another woman said she was raped in front of her four children after Qaddafi’s forces burnt their home to the ground.
Women said they had been raped in numerous cities and towns: Benghazi, Tobruk, Brega, Bayda, Ajdabiya and Saloum in the east; and Misrata in the west. Misrata, as most LIbyans know, is a city that is profoundly traditionalist and highly conservative. It is the city that witnessed the worst and most terrible methods of rape and torture of women. Misrata is known as a place where women will not go out of the house without covering their face with a veil so the shame of the rape victims is truly indescribable.
These women who suffered this insane brutality and suffered during the conflict must be taken care of very carefully and sensitively. They need psychological help. There should be awareness programs in the country so people can begin supporting them and letting them know that it is not their fault that they were raped. Unfortunately, we do not see many of these programs — if any at all.
In addition, many Libyan women and girls who become pregnant because of rape risk being murdered by their own families in so-called “honor killings.”
Well, I am Muslim and I have read the whole Quran and learned many verses by heart but again, forgive my ignorance, is this “honor killing” an Islamic thing or just a plain example of LIbyan tribal injustice? “Killing for honor’’ in this case is NOT Islamic. It is a horrible thing that exists not only in Libya but all over the Middle East and much of Asia as well. The real honor, however, is when one becomes a genuine compassionate Muslim and helps out these girls and women.
It is awful to see these horrible crimes committed upon Libyan women and it is more devastating to know that no serious attention is paid to these vicious crimes.
It is time for all societies to stop blaming the victims of rape and start giving them serious care, treatment and concern to heal them. Most of all, justice must be done to their inhumanly cruel aggressors.
Do not tell them it was God’s will they were raped. But do tell them it was God’s will that they survived.
Do not tell them not to talk about it. Yes, it upsets everyone to talk about it but that is the only way that they can sort through the experience.
Do not be afraid of a Libyan girl who was raped. As a survivor, the rape will affect her but will not rub off on you, for the person you love is still the same person as before.
After all, no one likes being physically overpowered, so why treat Libyan rape victims as if they have the plague — because chances they do not.
Do you?
Nafissa Assed has writes for numerous blogs and on-line publications. She is a former Libyan exile who was born and brought up in Morocco. Her father returned in 1990 but was murdered by the Qaddafi regime in Libya. After his death she lived with her grandfather, Mohamed Othman Assed, who was prime minister of Libya from 17 October 1960 to 19 March 1963. In 2010, she moved to Libya full-time, hoping to use her media skills for the cultural healing and rebuilding of my society.
After the Libyan revolution started, she wrote anonymously from Tripoli on what was going on inside the country.
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